My favorite one I've seen so far: "I collect actual garbage to put behind your favorite TV and movie stars, and when my boss asks if I have anything else I can put behind them, I turn out my pockets and shrug like a Dickensian street urchin."
I solve problems using wads of tape, bits of cloth, crunched-up tinfoil, occasional hunks of metal, clothespins and styrofoam, lots of styrofoam.
I push a little red button. Or I yell at people to do it for me.
I look through hundreds of hours of footage of people getting ready on set while the camera runs, trying to find the 3 seconds of footage that someone else thinks is ideal, and then when I finally get every shot they need in the right order, someone else gets the credit.